Thoughts to Ponder are my musings regarding community, things of the Spirit, and living as a Christ-follower. I don't offer the words of a professional or an expert; just a fellow traveler and explorer. Please don't take my musings more serious than I do. I've discovered a long time ago that I do not hold the keys of knowledge or wisdom. If I did, I misplaced them somewhere...typical.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Loss

My oldest daughter came home tonight in tears. Tomorrow we are all leaving for Nashville to help her move into her dorm at Lipscomb. Tonight she said "goodbye" to her youth minister.

"This was so hard," she blurted out. "And I haven't even said goodbye to you, mom and sis!"

While I hugged her, I noticed the hard knot stuck in my own throat and the slightly acid sting of salt water brimming over my eyelids. Tell me about it, kid.

Some parents of college kids may be wondering, "What's the big deal? My kid's in college--I didn't go all sappy over it!"

Maybe it's the distance: over 14 hours drive. We can't drop by over the weekend. And there won't be any trips home until Christmas. Maybe it is some unusual family dynamics--are we overly enmeshed? I wouldn't have a clue. I'm too close to make an objective judgment. Maybe one of my therapist friends could tell me.

Maybe it's the daughter thing. I don't know if saying goodbye to a son is any easier. (Of course, I have to admit, I do not remember getting all weepy when I left home--come to think of it, did mom and dad throw a party after I moved out? Hmmmm.)

All I know is I am going to miss my girl. I have all of the confidence in the world she will do well and thrive. Alyssa is entering Junior High, so I will have the chance to be more involved with her activities and adolescent challenges. I look forward to our time together this year.

Even so, it's never easy to say goodbye. But no sense in grieving "like those who have no hope" as Paul would say. Realistically, we'll see each other again. Holidays and summer breaks are made for such things.

It's my age. I think more about separations than I used to. I also appreciate reunions more. That's something to mull over.

2 comments:

Brittany, that oldest daughter said...

I love you. Pretty much.

The Eldest said...

Well yes baby Brother, it tis the daughter thing. Having ex-
perienced it/suffered through it three(3) times myself. It never gets easier. Oh,& by the bye, Ma & Pop threw a real wing-dinger after you left home.